What My Clients say
Below are extracts from clients' emails about their experience of therapy, shown here with their permission
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was very skeptical about my first meeting with David. I had finally given into my family's pleas to see a therapist following a tragic event in my life as a child that led to the heavy use of drink and drugs in my later life in an attempt to blur it all out. At the time, I really had no concept of how out of control my life had gotten.
I spent the following few sessions telling him things I had never said out loud, let alone told anyone, and coming to terms with things I had repressed for over 10 years. By the time of my first meeting with David, I had already resigned myself to drink and drugs until one of them took my life, because I never thought I would be in a place where I didn't hurt anymore - that's truly how bad it had gotten.
By the time our sessions came to an end, I was a different person. As cliche as that may sound, it is the absolute truth. David taught me how to tackle my demons and use them to my advantage, rather than letting them make me feel like I was 'damaged'. He was empathetic and totally non-judgmental, despite some of the awful things we talked about. He paid attention not only to how I felt but to who I am as a person. His words and advice weren't generic or textbook - he listened to every word I said and challenged me/my destructive thoughts in a way he knew would resonate with me. I never for a moment felt like I couldn't tell him what was on my mind.
Going to therapy was one of the best decisions I ever made - it brought me back from a place I never thought I would escape. I'll never look back.
Ms J
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I thought I was going to see David to help deal with my panic attacks and anxiety, and working with him helped with that. But David has also helped me realise that I'm free, that I have the power to choose. And perhaps even more importantly, he's helped me be more myself than I've ever been, not who I thought everyone else wanted me to be.
Ms P
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
After many years of struggling with depression and anxiety I finally accepted that I was at a sticking point in my life and I needed help in order to live a better and more fulfilled life. As soon as I read David’s profile I knew that if anyone could help me David could.
After my first session I felt relieved I opened up and virtually told David my life story. Over many weeks I uncovered feeling that’s have been buried for over 45 years since childhood.
I can honestly say with the help of David I have completely turned my life around ... putting myself first for once and actually being able to think for myself “what did I actually want” not what does everyone expect.
I had the confidence and self belief to give up a full time job where I didn’t feel valued and started my own business which is thriving along with my personal life. With David's guidance and belief in me I can say I am the happiest I’ve ever been and most importantly at peace with myself.
Ms M
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
David enabled me to look at the world and my own attitude in a completely different way. From that I was able to turn my life and career around. I’ve found contentment, happiness but most importantly, peace. I can’t thank him enough for his help over the last couple of months. If you’re in a dark place or just feel you need someone to speak to, David is the man to listen.
Mr R
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I’d become stuck and confused and felt emotionally battered by several life events that had happened to me, leaving me with little self-worth – I was tearful all of the time but couldn’t work out where the true pain was coming from and I couldn’t identify what all of those stuffed-down feelings were. I knew that I was feeling sad and upset and lonely – and I couldn’t climb out of it. I couldn’t see the wood for the trees. Following a number of sessions, David slowly helped me to unravel a lot of those feelings – not only from recent events, but from life-long patterns of being and learned behaviours that I had never questioned before. There was a lot of self-realisation and it was truly enlightening in a positive way. I am slowly realising what I want out of life and David helped me get to where I am now, for which I am truly grateful.
Ms L
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Following the worst period in my life I felt the only way forward was to see a counsellor as I wasn’t handling my problems very well at all. I didn’t even think I had the problem, I thought it was those around me. I looked in the phone book under counsellors and found David’s advert to be the most professional. Fate drew me to it for some reason and I thought I would give it a go.
Having never opened up to anyone ever, I was surprised at how comfortable I was with David and soon felt very trusting towards him. After only three sessions I felt that we had moved even closer and I found that there was nothing that I was worried to tell him. I really expected to have a year’s counselling, but after only eight sessions felt that I knew myself so much better. Thanks to David I realized that most of the problems were of my own doing. I am now very proud to say that because of him I can counsel myself in lots of ways and have learnt how to defuse situations and be logical instead of using paranoid and irrational thinking.
Mr A
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Before I walked into the room for my first counselling session with David, I had convinced myself that he would tell me how well I was coping with life in spite of my problems and that I did not need counselling. Instead, I sat and cried for nearly the whole hour. I wanted to do something to enable me to stop feeling like that, as I had had recurrent bouts of depression over many years and felt like I finally needed to control it, rather than it controlling me. Taking that first step was one of the most positive things I have ever done for myself, and after a year and a half of counselling I am now in a stronger and healthier state of mind than I have ever felt before.
David’s approach to the sessions varied, depending on what the issues were, and I always felt safe and comfortable enough to share my inner most thoughts. He was supportive, non judgemental and easy to talk to.
We have explored all manner of issues together, including looking back to my childhood, and helping me to learn to face, understand and deal with difficult, and sometimes traumatic events that have had a significant bearing on who I am. My deepened understanding of myself and past and present relationships with my family, friends and work colleagues have enabled me to move forward positively with my life.
Life’s problems haven’t miraculously disappeared, but I now feel much more in control of my life, and happier with the choices I make. I would have no hesitation in recommending David as a counsellor to anybody seeking help to deal with problems such as depression, or any other mental struggles that are preventing them from getting the most from life.
Mrs D
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I arrived in counselling by accident, like most of my life up to that point. From the outside, it appeared that I had a pretty good life. Young, my own home, my own car, a well paid job, and a busy life outside work. But I was always conscious that things just were not right. I couldn’t even figure out what exactly was wrong, let alone begin to fix it. The final straw came after too many beers on a weeknight, and the associated inexplicable urge to destroy my mobile phone.
I had always liked the ‘self help’ book approach to sorting these problems, but looking back they were lip service. So I booked an appointment to talk to David.
I ended up there for about three years, though I do appreciate that I was in a lucky enough position to afford such an extensive stay. For me, it was a long process, as any one of my issues were not particularly critical – there were so many ‘average’ problems they added up into one major issue.
Talking to David gave me an honest sounding board that I simply didn’t have. Looking at most of my significant relationships I found they were simply dishonest, and ways of ‘marking time’- The few honest people I had in my life, I wasn’t even being true to myself in those relationships.
David taught me to look at myself, my relationship with myself, and taught me that the value of life is in the relationship with others.
Instead of listing what David and I talked about, perhaps it is easier to list the outcomes
Since starting work with David I have:
A significant meaningful relationship with a woman, instead of meaningless, empty, unfulfilling one night stands
Got promoted in work
Improved my relationship with my family
Improved my relationships with my friends
Stopped (and stayed stopped) smoking
Removed destructive habits (like drinking six nights a week) from my life
Removed destructive people from my life
Embedded positive habits in my life ( like regular exercise)
Became much more open to new experiences
Became much more self aware and self confident
I really don’t know if I was capable of accomplishing the above on my own, I was festering in a rut, and David helped me find my own way out that rut, for which I am eternally grateful to him.
Everyone who does not have an honest sounding board, should consider a process like this. Everyone in life has some issues, David helped me realize what my bad place was, and helped me out of it.
Mr H
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We both arrived in therapy as a couple after acknowledging that the relationship after 10 years had reached its lowest destructive depths. It was a case of we try this as a last resort to try and salvage the relationship. Immediately after our first session with David we both felt that we had made a very important decision to come and sensed that it was going to be an interesting and helpful journey. David pointed out that he was going to work with the 'Relationship' and not us as individuals which came as huge comfort. The early stages of therapy with David were hard as we faced up to all the issues of the past and present which had managed to eat their way into the relationship and make it dysfunctional.
During the process of therapy we were tested by a series of major life events from relocation due to financial restraints and recession, miscarriage, writing a PHD, family death and complicated feelings around anxiety and fear. Through the safety and non-judgemental space that David created we as a couple were able to start communicating and grow together again and to understand about our individual differences. Having been in individual therapy before with various therapists I can without doubt say David is excellent therapist who is genuine and a true investor in people. The lessons we learnt about each other and new ways of coping we will take with us forever. This process with David is priceless and probably the greatest investment in each other we will ever make, and in reflection we are eternally thankful.
Mr F & Ms G
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have always considered myself to be strong, a coper, a doer, and not someone who would ever need or want counselling. I couldn't imagine how talking to a stranger could possibly help and I certainly didn't believe that my past had anything to do with the situation I found myself in. After an on going struggle with a PhD and a really negative relationship with my supervisor I found myself stuck in a rut and I couldn't get out. I went from being a motivated, self-disciplined, outgoing, sociable person to someone who couldn’t stop crying, dreaded social situations, and struggled to do more than get dressed in the morning. My boyfriend, friends, and family tried to help me but I was too concerned with worrying them or letting them down to be really honest with them. My fear of what might happen and what people might think had paralysed me. My GP suggested anti-depressants or counselling on the NHS but I didn't want to take medication because I wanted to 'fix' things not hide them and I wanted to try other options first. I was also reluctant to have 'stress related illness' on my records (it wasn't because of stress at work that I wasn't coping). So I decided to try to find some private counselling. I had stopped drinking and figured an hour a week of counselling would cost less than a night on the town and it would do me a lot more good.
I didn't want a counsellor who would 'head tilt', I needed someone who would challenge me if I dodged issues or covered up my problems (I'd become very good at that) but I also needed someone I could open up to, someone who would not judge me, and someone I could trust. David was all these things. Slowly but surely David helped me identify some of the most damaging thoughts and thought processes I had developed, we explored their origins and he offered me tools to counter them. Counselling was not a magical fix, I had to work on helping myself with support from David. Over time I was able to stop the downward spiral for long enough to work out how to get back on my feet. The first thing I noticed is I stopped picking fights with my boyfriend, I didn't cry so much, and I started getting some perspective on the things that had petrified me before. Before counselling I couldn't even imagine looking at my PhD again let alone finishing and passing it, but I did. I also believe that if I had not finished or passed I would have been able to deal with that too. My self-esteem is no longer based on my achievements alone and I have learned it's ok to be vulnerable and to ask for help sometimes. This may sound simple or even clichéd but for me it was quite a challenge.
The counselling David provided helped me climb out of a very dark place and it has equipped me with tools that might help me avoid ending up there again, but if I do I would not hesitate to ask for help and I would not see it as a sign of failure. I was cynical about counselling before but now I would recommend it to anyone who is struggling to cope for what ever reason.
Dr E
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Following years of problems, mine eventually came to a head. I decided, yes, it was time I saw someone about it so I went on the internet and started to look. It didn’t take me too long to find one that I thought I would be comfortable with. I was automatically drawn to David Eames. I am so glad I was! I then plucked up the courage to call him. He was very polite and straight away sorted me an appointment out.
As you can imagine I was very nervous about my first session. When I arrived David welcomed me with an open mind and he was very understanding. He said he thought that it would only take about six sessions which to my surprise it did! I now have got over my addictions, with many thanks to David. He has also helped me face up to my problems and deal with them myself.
I am doing very well. I can now counsel myself and look to the future very positively.
I would highly recommend anyone with any sort of problems going to see David Eames. I have a lot to thank him for and would certainly go back to see him if I ever feel I have problems every again.
Ms B
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Having never required the need for counselling before in my life it was a giant hurdle to admit to myself that I did have a problem. The second hurdle to clear was to open up and share the problem with someone new. Being the person that I am, I would have found it very difficult to do this with family or friends.
I can honestly say I was not optimistic at first and questioned if this would really work. At the start of the first session my mind was put at ease straight away, I found that David was a very straight talking and non-judgemental person and within the first half hour I had a warm feeling that not only was this the right choice to make but also that this would actually work. Within six sessions we both got to the core of my problem. Thanks to David’s listening and clear thoughts I now put myself first and have carried on as though nothing had ever happened. I wouldn’t hesitate in recommending him to any one - whatever their problem was.
MR C
Croft House
51 Ashbourne Road
Derby, DE22 3FS
